This may seem a bit sudden. I know we haven't been seeing each other for very long and against all of your cautionary tales... I can't hide these feelings any longer.
It's not that I'm really into lasers or spaceships, but there's something about the personal history of a bug-like alien who came to Earth to colonize, realized an intelligent life inhabited the planet, and left hanging it's head in shame only to be blown to bits hundreds of years later by Earthlings that just really gets me going.
It's not just me. My new love has had many a mistress...and mister. I recently listened to a podcast on either This American Life or Radio Lab (same thing, eh?) about a young man who was immersed in the realm of Xanth when he should have been flipping through his dad's dirty magazines. When he couldn't find a place to fit in at his high school he stole the money from his college savings account and hopped a plane to Florida to ask Piers Anthony, the SciFi author he'd been idolizing for years, if he could live in his home and cook his family breakfast.
This episode of whichever podcast it was really touched my shriveled little heart. The bravery of this young man astonishes me. Obviously Piers sent him straight home after spitting some knowledge across the dinner table, but at least part of his dream came true. For just a day, this kid got to feel safe and accepted by the person he admired the most.
If I had to runaway to my fantasy land, I would run to the Land of Steele. When you walk through the doors you're greeted by a hymnal-singing weenie dog who alerts the King and Queen of your arrival. You meet with the King first as he kisses each of your cheeks and promptly hands you a 64oz Wild Cherry Pepsi with crushed ice and a sack full of party burritos. What hosts! Next, the Queen graces you with her boisterous laugh and a smothering embrace. She swings you around and directs you to the dining room table to play a board game of knights and wizards while the King slips some rum into your QT cup.
In all reality, I would run away to my friend Katie and her husband Danny's house in a heartbeat if I could run. Kate is the sweetest, most caring person I've ever met, and it doesn't hurt that every time I'm with her I bust a gut. That lonely teenager was looking for a refuge from a world of ridicule and embarrassment for being himself. He found what he needed in Piers Anthony's strange little kitchen and the only reason I've made it in Milwaukee for as long as I have is because I have had Kate on the other end of the phone line telling me how proud she is of me. Except for her living in my closet, I couldn't ask for anything more in a friend.
I am literally counting down the days until I get to see her sweet, sweet face and giggle all through the night.
And Danny is pretty cool, too. He's my favorite husband.